I am obsessed with money. Not in the way that I want/need more and more money, but in the way that I track every penny in and out, analyze purchase decisions to the nth degree, and thinking about the money I’m saving makes me giddy with delight. I was not always this way though.
When I was young, my family lived outside of our means. I share in the blame because I always wanted the best toys, the coolest gadgets, and most fashionable clothes. My step-dad was a CPA/CFO and was the most intelligent man I ever meet. However, intelligence and knowledge of money systems does not inherently make one money smart. He was constantly shuffling money around to meet all the bills and debt. He probably knew better, but maybe he just wanted to keep my mom and me happy and didn’t want to let me know we were in trouble.
When I came home the first weekend holiday (Columbus day to be exact) after starting college, he died. Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard enough. Financial crisis only makes a difficult situation all the more impossible. He had no life insurance. We had a mortgage, and a second mortgage, and a mortgage on the rent house, and credit card bills, and debt, and more debt, and more credit card bills. I spent the first few days after he died calling all the credit card companies in his wallet. Trust me when I say you never want to leave your family with that kind of mess. He didn’t mean to, but it happened. My mom and I went from middle-income, living beyond their means, everything is fine… to poverty level.
How did I cope? Well at first I went to the mall. I tried to feel better by buying pretty clothes, a new set of makeup, a new pair of shoes might do the trick. Then when I moved back home to go to college, I rented the luxury gated apartment, needed a new car. My theory was that I was already in the red, and when you see no end of debt in sight, what harm can more debt possibly do?
This story isn’t all bad though, things did eventually turn up. All my dad’s debt eventually, and painfully, got squared away. My mom became brave by quitting her low-paying state job and taking the plunge into a new, blooming career that allowed her to be independent and not rely on a husband. Me, I meet my husband, and he inspired me by teaching me a bit of frugalness. Although, he had no idea at the time the kind of monster he had created with a little bit of budget inspiration. Along the crazy, wild-ride way I have learned first and foremost that money does not make you happy, it does a lousy job at filling emptiness, and it can bring out the worst in people. However, with proper planning, budgeting, and saving, money can make life easier, less worrisome, and more secure.
